CAMA's Couples Dinner Date Night - September 17th, 2019

As the Chaplain at CAMA Woodlands Longterm Care Home, I am continually looking for new, innovative ways to meet the physical, social, emotional and spiritual needs of our residents.  As part of my role at CAMA, I often speak with the spouses and family members of our residents, checking in on both how they are doing, and how they feel their loved one is faring.  It was during one such conversation that the wife of a resident told me that her and her husband were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary that day.  Upon extending my congratulations to her on such an important milestone, she broke down in tears explaining that this was not the way she had envisioned them on their 50th Anniversary.  You see, her husband has Alzheimer’s and most days cannot recognize her as his wife. Through the hurt and sadness, this woman then proceeded to nostalgically share with me memories of how her and her husband, in happier times, would celebrate their anniversaries together.  

It was at this moment, that I sensed the Spirit of the Lord bringing to mind an idea that one of our Activities workers had floated a few years ago, but for whatever reason had yet to gain traction.  The desire was to create an intimate dinner evening for which this couple, and others who were in similar circumstances, could celebrate their anniversaries.  I began to recognize the unique challenges they were learning to navigate through, as married couples living separated from each other, and wanted to create a special evening for them to enjoy together.  I went to each resident and their spouse and asked them if they would be interested in attending a quaint dinner for two in honour of their wedding anniversary.   To my surprise, most couples had tears in their eyes that we would even consider doing a couple’s dinner evening.  The management and staff at CAMA caught the vision and were enthusiastically willing to do whatever was needed to insure we could deliver a special evening of the utmost excellence.

The chapel room was set up with tables set for two; sixteen tables in all.  Each table was set with an elegant tablecloth, fine china place settings, and accented with décor and fresh flowers.  Each table held an individualized menu that was printed with the couple’s anniversary date to accentuate the reason for the celebration.  Staff and management assisted in setting up and decorating the room, preparing the food, plating the meals, acting as servers, and cleaning up at the end of the evening.  I cheered at the sight of their servant hearts as they enthusiastically and with reverence, took on the tasks required to make this evening a special one.  We had a pianist come and play beautiful music of songs throughout the eras to give that final touch of ambiance.  One of the most impactful and beautiful experiences for both myself and the staff that evening was to watch the spouses feeding their loved ones during the dinner.   These couples truly were living out their marital vows of “in sickness and in health” to love and care for one another.  

One of the most heartwarming stories from this event was the experience of a gentleman who is one of our residents.  When I first floated this idea by him and his wife, his initial reaction was that he would not be interested in attending an evening like this.  However, upon seeing the look of disappointment that crossed his wife’s face, he quickly changed his mind and said he would be willing to attend for her.  This resident was traditionally used to eating alone in his room and always insisted on a very specific diet where he ate the same things for every dinner.  I assured him, that if he agreed to come to the chapel room to participate in the couple’s dinner evening, then we would accommodate his regular dietary routine.  When this couple arrived at the chapel room, and the gentleman saw the room decorated like a fine restaurant, he was overwhelmed with emotion.  He was inspired to partake of the fine dinner as described on the menu, enjoyed a time of intimate conversation with his wife, and relaxed in the glow of the lights and the soft piano music. This couple ended up being the very last couple to leave the event that night, and upon the close of the evening he leaned over to me to whisper that he hoped he would not have to wait a full year to take his wife out for dinner again.

Needless to say, it was a special event for both residents and their spouses.  I know that both myself, the staff and the management at CAMA Woodlands are all equally looking forward to hosting another couple’s dinner event this coming Valentine’s season.  I see these dinners becoming a regular rhythm for CAMA Woodlands for years to come!

Rev. Sharlene Henderson serves as Chaplain on staff at CAMA Woodlands Long-term Care Home in Burlington Ontario. Sharlene enjoys interacting with each of her residents and their families, and providing Spiritual care to them in times of difficulty and transition.